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Arranged marriages, as seen on Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking,’ can be problematic, but white people need to consider their own hypocrisy.
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Indian Matchmaking: Why I have finally decided to go for arranged marriage
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On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the perfect match for an arranged marriage. The format of the show is simple. Hopeful brides- and grooms-to-be meet with Taparia — often with their overbearing parents in tow — for an initial consultation. Criteria are laid out, potential suitors are presented on paper, dates are arranged, and then it’s up to the couple to decide if it’s a match.
In some respects, the producers should be commended. This is a show that turns away from the “big fat Indian wedding” trope and offers something fresh: a look at how some traditional-facing couples meet through the services of a professional matchmaker. The characters’ stories — as well as cringier moments — play out in entertaining ways, at times revealing the absurdities and awkwardness of matchmaking.
I laughed when, for example, Taparia sought the consultation of an astrologist and a face reader. Matchmaker Sima Taparia meets with hopeful clients. Credit: Netflix.
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Follow Us. The controversial Netflix show has reignited debate over traditional marriage matches, but without interrogating harmful stereotypes, says Meehika Barua. One evening in late November when I was heading for a meeting in Holborn, my Indian friend, who is 25, texted me to say that she was getting married.
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I can give her…95 marks out of It is reflective, sometimes painfully, of a custom with which we are all too familiar: arranged marriages. For desis, either your parents were arranged or you know a couple that was. Some people—yep, even millennials—willingly enter into arranged marriages, as seen on the new reality show. While the show portrays arranged marriages in a positive although at times, vulnerable light, it simultaneously showcases the problems plaguing the ancient tradition—problems that Netflix account holders across America were quick to point out.
I was worried about the judgement that would come with it. I had to sit with that for a while and evaluate my reaction. It became very evident that I was trying to protect the problematic nature of traditions in my culture. The way love is defined changes over time, alongside our accessibility to the world; one screen swipe away. This system is global and established politically as well as socially. Traditions in India have perpetuated these ideals to an unhealthy standard, which explains why the biggest selling beauty product in India is a skin lightening cream.
The skin lightening obsession is perpetuated by the Indian caste system, which consists of the wealthiest at the top – the lighter-skinned Indians, while the bottom has the darker-skinned poorer community, who are heavily mistreated. The caste system combines inequality of wealth, colourism, within religion and education – all of which is based around patriarchal methods of governing.
This is controlled with arranged marriages. Choosing someone based on the colour of their skin is prejudice. While Sima Aunty asked the Punjabi Rupam whether she must marry a Sikh, she never listed a Muslim as a potential lover. Same-sex relationships were decriminalised in when Section was scrapped from the penal code, allowing people in India to legally love who they want.
I say that, but I’m not sure I would want a same-sex couple to have to go through the trials and tribulations of this show.
Sima Taparia of ‘Indian Matchmaking’ on family dynamics, ghosting and failed matches
Need any help? Write to us at support lovevivah. LoveVivah is a leading Indian matrimonial matchmaking service provider. Our team is committed to provide degree solutions to all prospective Indian brides and grooms for marriage.
The show’s matchmaker addresses some of the praise and criticism it has garnered, her own arranged marriage and how business is booming.
Jump to navigation. Our intelligent matchmaking system means we surpass other Indian dating sites by helping you pick out the very best potential partners for you. First, we use our personality test — which every new member takes — to determine how open, conscientious, extraverted, agreeable and neurotic you are, and match you with potential partners accordingly. Secondly, we take factors like your level of education, income and location into account.
Lastly, we take a look at your preferences and try to send you matches closest to your ideal idea of a partner. For most singles in the US, dating has only gotten harder; careers have taken over, and meeting new people outside of your friendship circle seems near impossible. Many of our members are busy professionals , devoted to their careers but looking for long-lasting love and a meaningful relationship all the same.
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Based on criteria they provide, clients are matched with ostensibly compatible dates, but they soon find that the goal of marriage is more difficult to attain that they had hoped — even with a matchmaker who consults biological data profiles, astrologers and face readers. Listen Listening Does the addictively bingeable series provide an accurate look at the process of arranged marriage for Indians and Indian Americans in ?
We may earn a commission through links on our site. Here’s What We Know About Sima Taparia, the Matchmaker on Netflix’s Indian.
By Shreeya Sinha. India now has more than 1, matchmaking sites, giving parents — and potential brides and grooms — thousands of choices to help arrange modern marriages while allowing families to adhere to longstanding traditions regarding caste and religion. We asked readers, some of whom only gave their first names, who have used such sites to share their tips. Kadhambari Sridhar, 26, from Falls Church, Va. She said she had hoped the site for Tamils looking for mates would help her find a husband who lived in the United States and shared her religion and culture.
But that did not happen. She has been using Shaadi. Though her first encounter with a man she met on the site did not work out, she said it was a good experience because she talked to his parents first and then spent a month chatting with him before they met. Sudha was disappointed when some of the men she met in person were not the way they presented themselves in their online photos and messages.
Remember: ask for a few recent photos of your match without hats or sunglasses. Maanasa Kona has also been using Shaadi.